Sunday, 23 March 2014

Thank You.

When we first met,
I had no idea that you would be so important to me.

Dear you,
thank you.

Thank you for all the memories.

Saturday, 15 March 2014

Kawan atau Lawan.

Kawan.
Rakan.
Friend.

Ya.
Semuanya satu perkataan.

Kawan.
Hurm, definisi kawan.

Yang selalu ada untuk kita.
Mungkin untuk kita bercerita. Mungkin untuk kita ber-share.
Tatkala tiada seorang pun disisi.

Mungkin apabila kita jauh dari keluarga, kawan memainkan peranan yang sangat besar dalam diri kita.
Kita takkan dapat berdiri selamanya tanpa seseorang pun disisi kita.
Mereka akan tetap ada dimana mana pun.

Namanya--
kawan.

Lawan.
Musuh.
Enemy.

Juga satu perkataan.

Lawan.
Macam mana untuk diterangkan?

Mungkin korang semua dah ada dalam kepala apa maksudnya lawan.
Its different from "kawan".

Kawan sentiasa disisi kita.
Lawan ialah musuh kita.
Yang kita tak suka.
Yang mungkin penyebab kepada something.

Ya, semua yang terjadi di muka bumi ini, semuanya telah ditentukan oleh-Nya.
Kita hanya mampu merancang, tapi Dia yang menentukan segala galanya.

Mungkin lawan kita itu adalah kawan kita ''dulu''.
Mungkin.

Namanya--
lawan.





Friday, 7 March 2014

Missing.

Sebenarnya--
rindu.

Rindu.

Rindu.

Rindu apa?
Rindu siapa?
Rindu mengapa?


Thursday, 6 March 2014

Love? Crush?

LOVE?

Define 'love'.

What is love?

1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. - Dictionary

2. Love refers to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes that ranges from interpersonal affection ("I love my mother") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment.[1] It can also be a virtue representing human kindnesscompassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".[2] It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.[3] - Wikipedia.



So, based on the stated meanings above, we know that love is from our feelings.

As for me, love comes when you like someone. When you attached to someone.
As a single girl here, which still haven't been in love (in relationship) with anyone, it's hard to actually understand the meaning of this.

Yes--
I've never been in a relationship.
I don't know why.

Maybe--
Nobody likes me.
Nobody interested in me.
Or i'm an arrogant girl?

Perhaps--
I'm ugly.

Okay, guys like beautiful girls or women.
And i'm not one of them.
So yeah.

In high school, I'm not really interested in a guy because I want to focus on my study.
Okay, typical reason for a student.
But right now, the feeling of want to love and to be loved just came.
Maybe as we're growing older, that feeling is growing too.

So, yes.
Right now, i'm interested in somebody but that person seems to not liking me the way I do.
So I just keep that feeling by myself. I didn't tell anyone else, roommates and anyone closed to me.
For me, it's better to keep it but sometimes, in order to move on, we need to tell the person that we love that we like/love them.
Their answers might make us happy. Who knows if he/she likes us back?
But sometimes, the answer might be disappointing. It might hurts us.

In my case,
I ended up falling for him because he is so nice to me.
He treats me so nice and good. He talks in good way with me. He shares his stories with me.

And--
He also told me about his girlfriend.
Imagine how hurts it was when the person you like, talking about someone else?
But I think I did a very good acting, because I guess he didn't realize that I like him.
But who knows he realized but he just acted like he knows nothing (what a jerk!)

And after some days, I distanced myself with him. Like didn't meet him for awhile, didn't really talk to him and only met in class but I just ignored him and I guess he realized that and didn't come and talk to me. But then, oneday, he suddenly came to me and said,
"You didn't even greet me liken usual."
And I was like, "Oh, hi. Hehe."
Then I just went to my place and sit. Acted like nothing happens.
I don't want the feelings come back again.
It just--
hurts.

But then, he broke up with his girlfriend and now he's with a new girl.
Imagine how it hurts to see him being all happy.
And I talked to him, yeah I did.
Talked like we're friend. I put my feeling aside.
I just need to endure it till May. Then we're done with our study.
I just need to endure. Endure. Keep it by myself although it hurts.


So, oneday I ended up googled on "How to forget your crush?"

http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=008953293426798287586%3Amr-gwotjmbs&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=how+to+forget+your+crush

1. Accepting your feeling
2. Distancing yourselves
3. Moving on for good.


And now, i'm slowly accepting that maybe he will never be mine.
Maybe he's not my future.

I need to move on for good. For my own good.
Maybe there is another guy out there waiting for me.

I just hope that he will be happy with his new girl.
Wish you the best, crush.

Please don't be good to me anymore.
Please--
let me forget you.









It Is

“Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn't have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again.” 
                                                        ― Carol Rifka BruntTell the Wolves I'm Home

Say Something


Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'll be the one, if you want me to
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
Anywhere I would've followed you
Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you
And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)
Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you
Say something...

---------------------
If you are wondering why I am posting this lyric.

Hurm--
Actually, half of me also don't know why.
It's like I have no reason why I'm posting this.

But after quite sometimes of thinking--
Yes, this song kind of related to me. It's like, this song dedicated to me. The meaning of this song.
So much related.

Well--
Love hurts.
It hurts.
It kills.

Hi!

Hi,

This is my first post--
on a blog.

Yes, first.

So,
Nice to meet you.


Wish me luck.